Capture

It's June 15th, and my daughters 25th birthday. She's living in Seattle near an encampment called "CHOP" - Capitol Hill Occupied Protest.  She managed to celebrate despite the crossroads in history we're at with a viral pandemic and the explosion of a social justice movement equal to the weight of the pandemic. It's requiring all of us to redefine what we call living. 

I myself have been on a journey of redefinition for over a decade, investing a lot of energy into self-examination; thinking about what I believe and why I believe it. During this exploration I have done a lot of grieving and letting go, rejoicing and reconfiguring, of the boundaries of my life.

Most recently I left the state of Minnesota where I had lived my entire life. I moved away one other time to live in Hong Kong for a year. Now I live in Southern Arizona where I've begun to embody the internal life I have been reaching for since 2007.  Since moving here I've found the space I need to expand into my beliefs and embrace the vocation I am here for while on this earth. It has been a return to the understanding of my child's heart and the origins of my soul's calling.

The irony is the condition that this pandemic has created that has called us to 'shelter in place'. The days and hours and weeks of quiet and uncertainty about what is coming next, and when next would be. With no employment, no community connection and a debilitating physical injury I am daily free falling. The daily news and conspiracy that is titillating, even unnerving, has pressed me further to look within. It's all served to drive me to assess my views and divide the truth.

This isolation albeit difficult, has given us all time to reflect. Given us time to stop and engage in an internal kind of development. This pandemic came without warning, and feels like being captured.