Relevance

Every morning I give my dog a long walk.  It's almost always enjoyable.  

In the summer, living in Tucson, I have to set an alarm to get up before the heat of the day makes it insufferably hot to go for a walk.  Having to set an alarm for this makes it less enjoyable at times.  I don't like waking up to an alarm.

I am now far past child bearing and child rearing.  I'm in a place I have not experienced, where all I have is Time.  After child rearing, Time feels much different.  The horizon of life is behind me in the gentlest of terms.  My youth has past and age is front and center.  All of the years of intense activity of raising a family, were dynamic, exhausting and rewarding all at once! That makes this next phase odd.  

It's a funny thing.  When you're in the midst of all the chaos you want a break, when it's over, it blindsides  you. 

Being an artist creates this heightened awareness.  It makes this experience of Time harder to shake.  I am always in a pool of philosophical thought, contemplating, and simultaneously occupying my self with mundane tasks when the vagueness of "being" confronts me.  This is not negativity, it's just a reflection on the present and holding what IS with open hands... until I find my occupation again, in purpose.

This experience of life has given me a solid platform to stand on and a voice to speak my mind, yet I still seek and wonder what it is all for, being here, on earth in this moment, in this physical body.  With less to occupy my time, I am faced with the need for meaningful insight and personal truth.  

As for the dog, I think she is trying to be immortal to keep me busy.  

Renee